While many people may associate physical pain with being one of the worst forms of getting hurt, the truth is that heartbreak can be one of the most painful experiences someone can go through. Unfortunately, it’s something that nearly every one of us goes through at some point or another. Depending on the circumstances, you could find yourself unable to do anything.   

You may find yourself unable to sleep or eat, and it may even be a challenge to get out of bed. The good news is that even though it may feel like this hard moment will never end, there is hope. With a little bit of perseverance and patience, you can mend your broken heart, find peace, and hopefully even find love again. If you’re going through heartbreak, here are some tips to find peace and strength once again.

Stay Busy

Even though all you might want to do is stay in bed and hide your head under the covers, this is the last thing you should do when you’re going through a difficult time.  When you allow yourself to dwell, you’re only allowing yourself to wallow in your sadness. It’s important that you stay as busy as possible, and find ways to occupy your time! 

Perhaps you can learn to play the piano, or take up a new sport. Go out with your friends, and enjoy your free time as much as possible. Instead of focusing on what you’ve lost, try to find things that you can gain. 

Whereas once upon a time the majority of your schedule was probably taken up by your relationship, now is the time to focus on yourself. Do things you would have never done before, and you’ll find you’ll heal much faster.

Allow Yourself to Process

One of the most important steps in the process is allowing yourself to feel. One minute you may feel angry, the next minute you may feel sad— the idea is to embrace each step and each emotion as they come. Suppressing or ignoring anything that you feel may lead to further problems and frustration. 

So, just take your feelings as they come, and try to find ways to express them. For some people it may be going for a run, or maybe even journaling. Letting your feelings out instead of holding them in can be incredibly helpful for moving forward and finding peace.

Avoid Self-Blame

One of the biggest mistakes people can make when going through a breakup is blaming themselves for the entire thing. Remember, regardless of how at fault you are, it always takes two to tango!  

If your relationship got to a point where it was time to end, sometimes you have to accept that this is simply the way things play out. Perhaps regardless of what you would have done, the relationship would have ended anyway. 

Take time to practice self compassion and remember that relationships are complex. The end of one doesn’t mean that you’re a failure or that everything was your fault. If you start to feel self pity or guilt, try to practice encouraging affirmations that remind you you are enough and you’re still worthy of love. 

Focus on what you like about yourself, and build yourself up again. Heartbreak can often bring a lot of self loathing and self judgment, so try to balance this out with self love.

Give Yourself Time

In an attempt to avoid the pain that heartbreak brings, many people dive into another relationship quickly. And while this may be a quick fix, you’re really not moving forward. In most cases when you don’t give yourself enough time to heal, and dive into the next relationship, you end up transferring your previous problems from your prior relationship into the new one. 

Give yourself time to heal and invest in you. There’s no rush to the finish line when it comes to love. Let things happen naturally and in their own time, and be kind to yourself. That doesn’t mean you have to hold yourself back from dating if you want to. That just means that you should take your time to truly figure out what it is you want and not settle for anything less. 

Remember, not everyone’s timeline is the same. Some people may heal in only a matter of months, while other people may take years to get back on track after the disappointment that comes along with heartbreak.

Nurture Your Friendships

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to lose touch with friends since most of your time is dedicated to your partner. Being single allows you to rediscover your relationships with your friends and nurture your connection. Spend as much time as possible with your friends, and enjoy how much time and energy you have to give them one-on-one. You may be surprised to find that friends you had lost touch with are still very interested in hanging out with you again, and you should take this opportunity to rekindle your connection!

Organize parties, go see movies together, do whatever you feel like doing with your friends without having to ask your partner if it’s okay, or if it works with their schedule. You are newly independent, and you should enjoy this period of not having to answer to anyone except yourself!

Set Boundaries

Another wonderful aspect of being single is learning how to create boundaries again. What can you learn from your last relationship, and how can you apply that to your future ones? What are some behaviors that you refuse to tolerate, and what can you do to protect yourself from it in the future? 

Perhaps most important is learning how to set boundaries with your ex. It’s not uncommon for exes to want to come back into the picture, so make sure that you create emotional space to ensure that you won’t be disappointed or hurt again. 

Staying in contact can often make it even harder to move forward, so ideally, consider cutting off contact altogether. Perhaps at a later time if your breakup was on good terms, you can rekindle a friendship. However, in the beginning stages, maintaining distance is essential.

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