Helping Children Through Divorce Dhanashree Kankanwade March 26, 2020 Parenting, Relationship 2021 For many people, their childhood was the most magical time of their lives. We don’t have to worry about the responsibilities, and our mistakes rarely have severe consequences. There’s also no need to spend 8 hours a day in a cubicle, hoping for the day to end as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, some children have to face the brutal reality of life much more quickly than others. Such a situation takes place, when their parents are going through a divorce. Unsurprisingly, a divorce can have a tremendous impact on the kids’ mental health. In this article, we will share tips that will help them go through this unpleasant experience with the least amount of pain possible. Keep Your Anger At Bay Whatever your relationship is with your ex, it’s crucial to remember that this is a very difficult time for both of you. It’s only natural that these emotions will transfer onto the children, who are going to feel angry and betrayed. The important thing is not to take any extreme measures in response to their anger. Kids need an adult who can provide them with love and support, regardless of how they’re feeling at the moment. If you need to learn how to co-parent with a narcissist, you should do it. You don’t have to try to reconcile with your ex-spouse, but you could try to work together to ensure your kids’ well-being. Keep Them Informed About the Situation Even though kids may not completely understand what’s happening in their family, you still need to keep them informed about the situation. However, it’s crucial to be honest with them, while telling as few unpleasant details as possible. By explaining the situation in a way they can understand, you can help them cope with the divorce much easier. Be Careful With Your Words and Actions Kids are very sensitive and delicate. They pick up on things that many people would easily dismiss. Even if you don’t want to talk about your feelings regarding divorce, it’s still crucial to be mindful of your words and actions when you’re around them. When you have a big fight with your ex, or you get into an argument with another family member, don’t take it out on the kids. This is something that will only make their situation worse. Make Sure They’re Not Taking Sides As we already mentioned, kids are very sensitive and delicate. They’re also quite selfish, which means that, more often than not, they’re going to take sides. It’s crucial to make sure that they do not choose sides between the parents. In order to achieve this, you should try to see things from their perspective and explain why some situations are not as simple as they might seem. Let Them Talk About Their Feelings Sometimes, children don’t know how to deal with their feelings. As a result, if you give them enough space, they are going to tell you exactly how they feel about the divorce. However, it’s crucial to remember that kids need time to process what’s going on around them. That’s why, even if at first, they seem fine with the situation, they might change their minds later. Help Them Avoid Conflicts With Other Relatives As you already know, kids are very prone to taking sides, and they don’t hesitate to share their feelings with other people. Another side effect of this is that they will often get into fights with other family members. It’s crucial to make sure that these arguments do not escalate into something bigger. While it might be hard at first, it’s still a good idea to try and help them resolve the issues peacefully. Give Them Time To Be Kids Again When your divorce is finalized, it’s crucial to make sure that you enjoy your quality time together as a family. Try and find new hobbies and activities you can do together and help the kids forget about the divorce for a while. This is also an excellent opportunity to learn how to co-parent with your ex-husband or wife. Don’t Leave the Kids To Themselves Even though kids can deal with problems and process them on their own, it’s still crucial to provide them with a lot of love and attention. While they might not want to admit it, they might have a lot of problems in school because of the divorce. A big part of this is because of their inability to cope with their emotions and deal with them in a constructive manner. Find New Perspective and Support for Yourself While divorce is definitely not easy for anyone involved, you must find support and perspective for yourself. You need to understand that the situation you are going through is temporary, and the sooner you accept this, the better. It also helps if you surround yourself with positive people who can offer you with moral support when you need it most. You’ll feel you’re not alone and you’ll be stronger for your children, and that’s what matters. Final Thoughts Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences an individual might face. Both adults and children find it hard to deal with, and it’s clear to see why. After all, divorce uproots the life of the entire family, and this sudden change may cause various problems. If you had children with your ex-partner, it’s important to provide them with love, stability, and support. They may find it difficult to cope with the new situation, so you need to ensure that they still can function properly, be it at home, at school, with their friends, or when interacting with other family members. You can get through this difficult time together. SHARE THIS POST