As a society, we are in this for equality – that means that it needs to come in all shapes and sizes with no discrimination in any form whatsoever. It seems obvious, but women supporting women has become a strange thing – one that I find myself getting marginalized in.

I work for a charity, where to my knowledge, there are only two other women in senior roles. When I attend events organized by the charity, it is often men doing the presenting or leading workshops/talks, etc., and at times I have wondered if this is because women don’t feel able to lead, or that women do not have the confidence/experience to speak in front of others.  

As a woman working in the charity sector, I should probably add at this point that I work for an organization whose entire ethos is to make equality for all regardless of gender. Often times it seems like men and women are treated as if they are different species.

I think it is important to recognize and champion the women who work across all sectors and within our communities – we need to support them, give them confidence and make them feel capable of achieving great things. I am currently involved in a GP surgery that works on this basis; we have a group who work on a non-hierarchical basis and who hold each other accountable for being able to do the jobs they have been given. Where there is a need for a discussion, we can sit down as equals and talk respectfully about what it is we are doing, revisit situations that have made us feel uncomfortable or just move on from them – all without worrying that it will affect our jobs next week.

I have lost count of the number of times I have asked a colleague to help me out with something, only for them to say no because they are too busy. I don’t resent this – working in a charity can be so stressful at times, and having free time is important. What I find strange though is how often it seems to be men saying this to me – as if they are so busy with their demanding jobs that they cannot help out a woman who works in the same sector, but on a different project.

The negative side of all of this is something that has affected my mental health for many years now. My confidence has been shattered by the experiences I have had, and it is sometimes still difficult to put myself forward for things – would this be because I am a woman?

Love and Relationships for Women

I want equality, but I don’t want to be treated as if everything I say or do is somehow less important or less valid. This does happen often though,  and I’m sure that other women working across all sectors will be able to attest to similar stories.

I know this because one of my friends was abused at the age of 19. She came home and told her mum what had happened; she didn’t go to the police or any professionals because she felt like it would “get there anyway.”  

For me as a friend, it was difficult to digest and I didn’t know what to say or do. We were supposed to be equals, but here we had this terrible inequality that no one wanted to talk about. This continued for over a decade too – neither of us said anything and we both just brushed it under the carpet and carried on as normal.

She was abused by one of her closest friends, so it’s not like people who physically hurt you – this man didn’t physically harm her in any way, but emotionally I think she felt used and worthless after the event. To have someone that close to you do that to them makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

I started reading more and more about love and relationships for women on different blogs and felt many things happen also because of lack and communication between men and women. Currently, my favorite blog about this topic is https://veebabes.com. They have a special section about love and relationships with many interesting articles such as how to bring up problems with your partner or about birth control and other highly relevant topics.

I know that many women are assaulted, abused, or suffer from any other kind of violence on a daily basis. This is unacceptable and I believe that talking about it can help create awareness that this happens more often than most people want to think and that we need to support and encourage each other if we want real change.

Women are the main targets of violence. When I was younger, my parents used to say that “women are more dangerous than men” because they kissed you on your hand or on your cheek. Men kiss women only on the lips. Over time, this kind of behavior had a positive impact on me and my way of thinking about relationships between genders.

I don’t want to generalize of course, but it is easier for men to be themselves and open up about their emotions because they have been brought up that way. This doesn’t mean that women are not self-aware or can’t be as confident as men – there are many strong and successful women out there who show the world what they are capable of.

They created a safe place for survivors and this made me feel better about the world we live in. I am not saying that we should only empower women and ignore men, but it is important to understand and accept that women experience more violence than men and they need time and space to recover from these kinds of incidents.

I am writing this because I believe that we need more space for women to speak about what they are going through. This is also an opportunity for men to listen and support their loved ones, or anyone that needs help in life.

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